Cranky me

I have never been as cranky as I was today. What else, I was angry at the kids lah. It all began in the morning when I noticed that Fahim was not studying but was watching tv. I was busy sweeping and mopping the floor (yes....you guessed it right, tak nampak bayangan batang hidung maid ku lagiiii) and i expected Fahim to know what he was supposed to do as his exam is just around the corner. And so began my membebel episode! To make matters worse, as I was still mopping the floor, it started to rain....no warning, no nothing, it just poured down...and there went my mop flying to the ground as I scrambled for my door key to bring the clothes in. I had just hung them out to dry like an hour before!! And being the clumsy me, some of the clothes fell onto the porch floor and got filthy again....Haih!!!

When it was time for me to dress up to go visit Sarah, I realized that the scarf that I had already ironed did not cover my shoulder and chest 100%....and I was already late! So, I just grabbed another tudung and wore it, ironed or not!! On the way to Cyberjaya, I dropped by at JM Bariani to pack some lunch for Sarah, the boys and I. I asked Farhan to order the food while I waited in the car...I gave him specific instructions before he went into the restaurant. Not long after, he came back in and asked me what he was supposed to do as he wasn't sure who to place the order with. At that time the car I was blocking was backing out and in my panic (oh yes....I am so kalut!!) I shouted at Farhan and told him to close the door and to not bother ordering any more.....pfffffttttt! Marah betul I coz he could'nt even do simple things as to order food!! And he is TWELVE years old, mind you!

And so, in the pouring rain, thunder and lightning, we sped off to Cyberjaya especially since we were very2 late! I did promise Sarah to be there by 1 pm but it was already 15 past 1 when we were at JM Bariani area, in seksyen 7, Shah Alam. So, hujan tak hujan, I sped like crazy......fuming mad because I haven't even got the food I was supposed to bring. And in my frustration with Farhan, some harsh words slipped off my tongue...and it made Farhan cry. And now, I wish I hadn't said those things to him.

In the end, I stopped by Saba Restaurant in Cyberjaya to buy kabsah instead.....the place was as usual, teeming with people. Luckily the wait this time was bearable. It was already past 2 pm when we pulled into SSP and Sarah looked so pissed off with me. And that got me going angry again. So, I admonished her, telling her "It is OK for me to be late as I am late for valid reasons...but it is not OK for you to be late coming down to see me because your reason for being late has always been because you either overslept or some other silly reasons!!! Wipe that angry look off your face or else I am leaving this instant!" Haaaaa.....garang nya I kan? So, you see....all my 3 children dah kena marah today!!!

I finally stopped being such a tiger mom malam tadi....so, mood bergambar pun datang lagi. Snapped this photo of us enjoying dinner at HOMST Chinese Muslim Restaurant in Section 13, Shah Alam. Had dinner there soon after the kids finished their swimming lesson at Kelab Shah Alam. Our table was located next to the mirrored wall and I was tickled when I saw Fahim was looking at his reflection in the mirror while eating. Alahai anak mama pun vain juga!! keh keh keh.

I wish I had not been so harsh today....But I know the real reason for my crankiness....Huwaaaaa....semua sebab I have no maid yet!! Ya Allah, please please let my new maid arrive soon!!! I am now officially allergic to the word "delay" and "passport". And I can't stand being this cranky anymore. It is taking a toll on my children, and also, the quality of my work has greatly been affected. I don't do much reading nowadays. I hardly even have the time to read the newspaper that is delivered to my house everyday. Farhan even said, " Mama....I bet the news for tomorrow are already being printed and you are only starting to read the newspaper"...Yes...I manage to glance the headlines only when I was about to go to bed and that is usually past midnite!! (Kesian I...baca cerita basi!)

Anyway, kids, if you're reading this....Mama is terribly terribly sorry for being such a terrible mother lately.....Please forgive me, I'll try to get a grip of myself and be more patient, insyaAllah. And let us pray that by next week our much awaited maid would finally arrive as promised. Amin!